I Can’t Seem to Perfect My Meditation (5 years ago)

Two weeks since I flipped over the handle bars of my Norge Moto Guzi 1200 and the black Mercedes S550 that gunned in front of me on PCH, I maneuver into see my dear friend and chiropractor, Dr. V. 

We’ve decided to begin a profound regiment of healing. One tool we are using is immersing myself in the hyperbaric chamber three times a week to increase my cellular oxygen levels for a more rapid healing.
 

Today, I crawl into the submarine-like chamber to absorb the goodness for the hour and discover that it is the perfect place to meditate. For the next hour i sit in a deep state first adjusting to find comfort, then into reflection with thoughts rushing in and fading out and eventually I’m in unison with my breath.
 

Soon, the discomforts of the body and the thoughts that typically crowd in begin to recede into oblivion. Twenty minutes in I’m absorbed in “The Energy” in a gentle state of bliss. Thoughts still rush in beckoning attention, yet from this place the chatter gently passes without pulling me far from the moment.

CLANK! CLANK! GOOOOOSH! PSSSSSSSSS!

The chamber slowly reduces its pressure. I use this as my opportunity to gently return to a state of awareness where we can bring the meditative state into the outer world. From this place, I gently evacuate the pale blue oxygen tube and hobble to my crutches.

Deborah, the assistant is there to greet me and notices that I am in a bit of an altered state.

Deborah jubilantly asks, “Have you been misbehaving in there or meditating?”

I smiled without a need to answer.

Deborah continued, “I can’t meditate. Every time I try, I get nowhere. So, I’ve given up.”

I asked, “Do you have some idea of what is “suppose” to happen while you’re meditating?”

Deborah, “Well… I know my mind and body are supposed to be quiet and I am to sit up and keep my spine straight. The problem is that I ache after about five minutes of sitting and my spine slouches almost immediately.”

I inquired, “And your mind?”

Deborah, “Oh it’s a disaster! It jumps from thought to thought never ending. I try to stop the thoughts that run through. My head is quiet for maybe a second. It is so disappointing. So, I quit.”

I’ll share with you what I shared with Deborah that day: There are unlimited teachings out there on meditation. Some of the guidance may be supportive and some seems to take us further away from our intention.
 

The easiest way through this is to keep it simple. First, drop all of the “shoulds”. I should sit up straight, I should not have any thoughts, I should be able to sit here for an hour, I should be happy, I should be present, etc.” These “shoulds” keep us from what is happening in the moment and takes us into an idea that is a guideline, yet far from an absolute.

Simply, let go of any pre-conceived idea of what meditation is “Suppose” to look like and set the intention to be present. Make this time committed to meditation and offering to the Self within you that is your highest potential. Once there, find something to focus on in the moment… this could be focusing on a candle, a flower, your breath or anything that will assist you in being present.

Next, just breathe naturally. Know there is nothing to get or give in this moment. All you need to do is be with the object of focus. Know that thoughts will inevitably come in… probably rather quickly.

Here’s the key: when the thoughts come in, you have the opportunity to catch them. When you catch them, there’s no need to push them out like unwanted garbage. What you do is, you see the thought and you choose to let it float through rather than engage it.
 

Similarly, if a chocolate addict was on a diet, but was given a small piece of chocolate every hour she would likely begin to eat it partly out of desire and partly out of habit. Yet, each hour the chocolate is doled out, we have the opportunity to choose to not eat this piece and not feed into the story around eating it or not eating it. We gently drop what pulls our focus from the diet or meditation and retrain into our intention of being present with the “NOW”.

The next thought will come and maybe this time you loose your focus completely and it takes five minutes before you catch it. So be it! Eventually, you catch it, let go of the story that came with the thought and you return to the moment with your breath and with the object you are focusing on.

Notice if you want the meditation to be perfect and you are trying to make something happen. Can you be wherever you are without anything having to happen? Can you be fully accepting of the moment and what is and is not there? And, when you can’t then can you accept that?
 

At some point, we catch the spinning of thoughts and then we begin from there. We’re not here to be perfect in meditation. We meditate to experience the truth and beauty of what is.
 

Whether we are just beginning or we have been steeped in meditation for decades, this premise remains the same.
 

Set the intention to be present,
 
Come present,
 
Notice your thoughts,
 
Eventually catch when you’ve trailed off,
 
Return to the moment and accept whatever unfolds.
 
Do this every day. ~ This is it!

Ring the bells that still can ring
 
Forget your perfect offering
 
There is a crack, a crack in everything
 
That's how the light gets in.
 
That's how the light gets in.
 
That's how the light gets in.

~ Leonard Cohen, “The Anthem”

If you want the meditation to be perfect, try meditation cd's, books on how to meditate from Jason Frahm.

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Moving Through the Fear of Teaching Yoga

I’m sitting at a local tea shop, Zen Zoo enjoying my green boba tea as my cell phone rings. I glance down and notice it is Sacred Movement Yoga (the hottest yoga studio in town at the time) calling. An invisible knot leaps from my belly to my throat as i press the green key to answer.

“This is Jason”, I say.

“Hi, this is the Jenny at Sacred Movement. Saul just called and asked for you to sub his Sunday 10:30am class tomorrow. He has a last minute conflict. Can you come in?”, asks Jenny.

I had been diligently working towards this moment teaching small classes at tiny studios, in the Universal Studios’ gym and at the beach while assisting Saul from the beginning of Sacred Movement for well over the past year. My first chance to step up to the next level has come! My heart then jack-hammers through my rib cage so strongly my breath rapidly evaporates.

Anxiousness and excitement pulse through me as one.

“I can do this.”

“Awesome, it’s about time. If so-and-so can do it, so can I!”

“Oh my God, what if I blow it?”

“What should I teach?”

“Will anyone come?”

“How can I be remotely as good as this great asana teacher, Saul?”, I repeat inside.

The doubts and fears dance with such a sharp edge with my excitement and joy for this opportunity. I catch this and attempt to eliminate the fears through any conscious or unconscious means possible.

By Sunday morning 10 minutes before the doors to the Sun Room open, nothing has helped. I stand in a corner as the people pile in to take class. I scan each person as they step up to sign the board for class. I watch closely to discern the disappointment or indifference in each face as they notice that it is me subbing the class. I secretly yearn that someone will smile with excitement to have me teaching, yet expect the opposite.

From my seat, I didn’t see many truthful smiles as people said hello or patted me on the back with encouragement.

Mostly, I saw the minds of many calculating, “Should I stay or should I go? I like Jason… as Saul’s assistant, but for my yoga teacher?”

The sun room doors open. Many sweat-drenched students walk out smiling with satisfaction from their strenuous class.

I’m up! The 80+ people for Saul’s class rush in for their spot on the spiraling wood floor.

I hesitate outside the doors clamoring for some sort of grounding, faith and confidence in myself.

A screaming thought rushes in, “If you don’t pull it together right now Jason, you’re going to blow it and that’s it. You may never get the chance to teach here again!”

I scramble to deepen my breath, root my feet and discover some kind of trust in myself. It’s not working. SH**!

I stumble towards the door when I hear a voice from within, “What is your intention Jason?”

That’s it!

What is my intention is the key to this class. What am I intending to offer every divine being inside the Sun Room? What traits do I choose to live by in every moment in my life including this one right now?

I quickly remember and mumble what I call my Umbrella Intention, “I choose to be of service to myself and all beings for the highest spiritual good of all involved in all moments of life.”

I realize that my core intention is to be of service. Which then means this class is not about me and what I can get, it’s not about what others will think about me, nor how many people are in the room. Since this is the case, I must follow through and teach from this place… from the purity of service!

It was as though a huge knitting needle had just punctured the soaring hot air balloon of fear within me. The basket and failing balloon rapidly crashed to earth. A bit jostled, yet my breath returned and the anxiousness diminished. I was still a bit nervous and shaky from the flight of unending fear and the crash back to my reality and purpose of service. Yet now, I could breathe speak and teach with intention.

That class a decade plus ago still chimes quite clearly within me. It wasn’t a great class - many improvements and growth were sure to come in the years to follow. And yes, some people never returned to a class of mine after that day… and, some did.

Ultimately, none of this mattered. What matters then and now is the conscious intention I choose to bring into every class I teach (and every moment in life). As long as i remember and strive to live by the purity of my Umbrella Intention, all that unfolds in life is divinely there to support me in experiencing and being love, joy and peace… truly, remembering who I Am.

Too, I invite you before your next class, your next meeting, your next day to ask, “What are the three qualities in life I most admire in people and really would like to live and be myself?”

Once you have these, declare to strive to live these traits in each moment whether life or your state is up or down. See this Umbrella Intention as your north star. You continue to travel towards this star. Sometimes you fall off track, yet you use this north star to guide you back on track.

With this support, likely the nerves, doubts, imbalances hovering within you will recede to the background. In the foreground will be your Umbrella Intention and the TRUE YOU!

For spiritual life coaching los angeles or spiritual life coaching online, visit: http://www.jasoncfrahm.com/

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A Vacation for Transformation



We are on this amazing journey called life that offers us many twists & turns, highs & lows, laughs & sorrows that seemingly can't be avoided. What a gift it is to be in this body... and of course, sometimes it feels like a hellish challenge.

Six months into relationship with my beloved Veronica the muddy terrain began to surface. Veronica moved from the magical redwoods of Mendocino back to LA for me and was essentially starting over in her life. At this time, we began to live in a small tree house together. The house was delightfully  made for one, miserably made for two. On my own this tree house was cozy, private, secluded, rustic with charm and once Veronica moved in my meditative abode became a crushingly small closet without a door or mirror… A true challenge for both of us!

Our honeymoon was over and the underbelly of our relationship was exposed to the crud that was caked over the brightness of the love within and between us. If you’ve ever been in a 1 year + relationship, you know what I am writing of. Post honeymoon is a test no matter how you slice it. And then, just imagine facing this challenging cycle with your new partner in a closet day in and day out!

Upon our one year mark a blend of many tests and challenges along with moving into another home (a larger closet), I surpassed my boiling point. Veronica and I both were hitting our new discovered limits with each other and within ourselves. We were at the precipice of breakup or transformation.  Neither of us knew what would come first, yet both of us were hoping for the transformation. We knew something had to change and it was going to have to happen quickly.

Serendipitously, the day after we moved I already had a trip scheduled to immerse myself in the woods of Mt. Shasta. Veronica wisely chose to remain home to give us both some time and space to take an inventory of our oozing stuff and the goodness beneath that.

The morning of my trip, full of concern of the future, I slid out at the dew of the morning with a desire to remember the love and gratitude I had for the woman I saw spending the rest of my life with. Yet, when I left the house it was a sprint for breath, space and freedom.

The first 30 mins of the trip was a replay of all the tests and challenges that Veronica and I had gone through. The weight of all these burdens were becoming too great to carry. I doubted if we could make it through this.

An hour outside of LA I found myself listening to an uplifting song by Seal that begins with,  “I AM Who I AM, That is That.” 

As 10 minutes of positivity pulsed through my veins, I began to feel lighter with a glimmer of hope surfacing from the caverns within.

An hour and a half on the road the straight jacket of constriction in my lungs and heart relented. Like a hot air balloon, the love and compassion within gently lifted me above the righteousness, anger and fear I felt in the story of our relationship.

Soon after, what remained was a building determination to discover what my contribution was to the flailing partnership and what I could contribute to our transformation.

Over the next several days in Mt. Shasta, I enjoyed my simple routine of meditation and a walk on the mountain in the morning, a nature drive into breakfast, a stroll around town, a sit for tea and reading, a return to the local health-food store for groceries, the drive back up the mountain, a meander back over to my private campsite, time to be present amongst the pines, a bit more masticating a book and food and then an early turn-in.

To be free of the demands of work, to be free of the current friction with my beloved, to be free of my patterns at home and to be free of the influence of others I had the opportunity to transform without a lot of luggage or resistance. So much of what I needed was the spaciousness to remember who I truly am and how I choose to be with myself and my partner. Certainly, some changes were required upon my return, yet it became much easier to communicate and enact after a week of spaciousness.

I reflect today, with gratitude on the Divine support of that venture perfectly scheduled to Mt. Shasta. It certainly was one of the many moments of Grace that has been a natural thread of my journey with my beloved V. Of course the tests in love continue to emerge at times, yet now we have a roadmap on how to address these tests. And, one of the keys on that map for our love and joy to thrive is vacation! A true secret to thriving is scheduling these retreats sometimes in union and other times as a solo adventurer.

With intention, a vacation can become much more than a reprieve from our regular duties and obligations. It can be a profound reset and opportunity to transform some of the limiting ways we live and think in our daily lives.

Hence this is an olive branch for you to carve out that time for you either alone or with a partner. When’s the last time you consciously took time to immerse yourself in positivity and invited in the space to discover new ways of living that would improve your life?

If what you’ve read resonates, why not plan your next journey today?

And of course, you’re welcome to join me on one of my upcoming “Sacred-Elegant Adventures”  


PROVENCE, FRANCE  "The Unforgettable Journey"  ~ EUROPEAN LUXURY HIKING, CYCLING & YOGA RETREAT        May 3rd - 9th, 2015     Prices begin at $4995 
Luxurious Private Villa, Daily Massage, Private hikes off-the-beaten-path, Yoga, Cycling tour, Gourmet Vegetarian Meals, Local Cafes, Amazing Ambiance


MACHU PICCHU, PERU   "The Joyous Journey"  ~ LUXURY MACHU PICCHU & SACRED VALLEY HIKING & YOGA RETREAT   September 20th - 26th     Price: $4595+
Luxury Bed & Breakfast, Massage, Private Andean Hikes off the tourist path, Yoga, Gourmet Vegetarian Meals, Shamanic Ceremony 


SACRED VALLEY, PERU     "The Enlightened Journey"      MOUNTAIN TREK AND ANDEAN SHAMANIC TRAINING     September 27th - October 3rd        Price: $2,595+ 
Hiking, Camping, Meditation, Prayer bundles, Individual guidance & training, and Communion with healing herbs and shamanic techniques with one of my teachers and shamans of the high Andes (Altomisayocs)


OJAI, CALIFORNIA      "The Sacred Journey"      YOGA & SHAMANIC IMMERSION RETREAT     
November 12th - 15th, 2015      Prices begin at: $995
Yoga, meditation, Shamanic Ceremony and Training, Hiking, Massage, Afternoon Transformational Group Sessions, Gourmet Vegetarian Meals, Exclusive retreat center in stunning, natural setting

For more information in luxury meditation retreats, shamanic journeys, etc, kindly visit: http://www.jasoncfrahm.com/

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