COMPETITION… Friend or Fo?



Have you ever pondered the consequences of competition?  Why is it that it was so important to our parents that we win the game or contest?  In turn it has become so important for us to win the account or promotion at work.  And then, how important it becomes that our kids do the same thing… Win-Win-Win!

So, what are the repercussions of competition?  First, what could be perceived as the positive.   It does ignite a desire within us to better ourselves at the sport, contest, or job.  In order to win at whatever we’re competing at there takes a level of dedication, one-pointed-focus, persistence, transcendence (of the obstacles), hard work, and in many cases a desire to win or be the best at something.  These qualities in and of themselves can be used in a positive or negative manner depending on the intention behind the quality.

What credence do we place on the intentions behind how we play the game?  To some extent we do encourage a sense of fair play, sportsmanship, teamwork, and graciousness… nobody particularly cares for the sore looser or the obnoxious gloater.  At some level, there is an encouragement within competition to honor yourself and others.  And yet, we see this example displayed less and less these days.

What happens to us when we compete?  Most often the focus is placed on winning. Often we take this to the place of “winning at all costs”.  This attitude becomes, “You can kiss my a** if I win and certainly if I loose”  “I don’t care about you, I care about winning” And, this is fed vehemently in competition.  There is not a win-win, there is a winner and an looser.  So to speak, “winner takes all and losers go home to mama”.

When the focus becomes solely on winning, we have lost sight of what is most important… who we are being through the competition.  If we died in that next moment after our win, will we look back at how great we were for winning the game or would we be faced with the consequences of our actions that led us to winning?  (a side note: one way to assist in making decisions is contemplating how you would feel about your actions and decision if all was coming to an end the next day.  Would you feel good in your heart about your choice or would there be a knot in your belly?)


If you sit with the energy of competition, there are many traits that become almost inherent with competition: a sense of lack, separation, selfishness (all about me) & short sightedness.

The sense of lack comes in the form of not being enough.  There is only enough for one, the winner (yes, sometimes there is acknowledgement for 2nd and 3rd, but all the accolades, fame, and the greatest amount of money goes to the winner).  I was raised in a family encouraging me to win - I was awarded $5 for A in school, I was coached by my father in football and baseball, I was captain of several football teams, awarded MVP multiple times, and was a state champ wrestler in high school. 

Here’s the catch.  Our limbic part of the brain does not know the past from the present.  Hence, if the competitive one gets activated within me, the limbic brain remembers… Win-Win-Win (at all costs, so long as you don’t embarrass yourself or your parents). 

So, with whatever I am wanting in life like a successful career, anyone else who teaches yoga, meditation, or offers healing energy work automatically becomes a competitor. These competitors can even be perceived as an enemy from the limbic part of the brain (first step to shifting this is shining awareness onto this shadow piece.)  
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The energy of competition then becomes, “There is not enough for all of us, so I am here to win it all!”  Quite a statement for me, who chooses to embody unity awareness, love and compassion:) The competitive brain wants to then beat every other yoga teacher, healer, etc… that part has to be number one! 

The sense of separation, me and not the whole becomes quite clear in this past example.  I am number one and then comes everyone else. The ultimate declaration of the self-serving part of the ego. From the wholeness perspective, competition is separation.  There is no-one to compete with since we are all part of the One, the whole.  Competing is a fracturization of embodying Oneness.  Rather than treating your brother and sister as yourself, as a part of God, in competition we separate and must dominate over the other.

Selfishness is embedded here.  It is about me first........Me-Me-Me-Me!  What else needs to be said?

The short sightedness simply is focusing on the importance of winning.  Yet, at what long term cost to who we are or what we are becoming?  Due to my competitive reinforcement as a child, I am graced with many opportunities to unwind these seeds that separate me from the natural state of divine love, compassion, and oneness.

This little thread is not about bashing competition.  This is about brining awareness to the snags that often come with competition.  Enjoy a healthy game of tennis and celebrate what you and your partner on the other side of the net put into the game no matter who wins or looses.  If your son looses a match, still go out for ice cream and acknowledge him for all the effort he put into the match. 

Is there not a way for us to play in this game of life without having opponents or enemies?  Isn’t it time to let go of sides and see humanity, nature, and consciousness as our friend rather than fo?  


To achieve the sense of consciousness, explore shamanic journeys, spiritual retreats services from Jason Frahm.

For more information on Spiritual Retreats and Meditation Retreats USA, please visit: http://www.jasoncfrahm.com

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